I have heard about a man, an old man, who was torturing his family. Every day he would figure out how many diseases he had. The doctors were tired; they said he had no diseases. He listened to the medical programme on the television and learned the names of the diseases. Then he started torturing the family: “I am suffering from this, I am suffering from that. Nobody is taking care of me.” This was simply a way for an old man to attract attention.

Nobody gives attention to the old people, so they find their own ways. They become more irritable, more angry, more fussy; they have their own techniques to attract attention. Their whole lives they were nourished by attention, but now nobody looks at them, nobody even bothers whether they exist or are finished.

One Indian singer, who loves Osho, Jagjit Singh, tells a beautiful joke. One of his friends who lives in London had come, so he asked him, “How are you?”

He replied, “Alright.”

Jagjit Singh said, “And how is your wife?”

He replied, “She is also alright.”

“And how are your children?”

`They are also alright.”

Jagjit Singh finally asked, “And what about Daddy?”

And the man said, “Daddy? — he has been alright for almost four years.” Four years ago he had died, so the friend is saying that he has been alright, completely alright, forever alright since four years ago!

Old people have only these methods to attract attention — that they are suffering from migraine, that they have a stomachache. The greater their medical vocabulary is, the more they will manage.

Finally, doctors started refusing, saying, “He is a mad person. He has no sickness, no disease; we have checked him so many times.” But the son said, “What can we do? — we should bring the doctor.”

So the doctors finally suggested that perhaps a hypnotist may be helpful: “Bring the hypnotist, so he can hypnotize him and tell him that he is absolutely alright. That is the only medicine he needs. If his unconscious grips the idea of being alright, then there is no problem.”

The sons were very happy, and they brought the hypnotist. He looked like a doctor with his bag and paraphernalia, with his small Sigmund Freud beard, with one glass on one eye — one has to be properly dressed according to one’s profession, and this is impressive! — and he asked the old man, “What are your troubles?”

The old man listed so many troubles. The hypnotist said, “Okay, you just lie down. I will be holding this pendulum which shines because it has a battery attached. You have to keep your eyes on it until you cannot keep them open.”

Old people become very cunning and very clever after a long life’s experience.  The old man thought, “This seems to be a con man by the way he is dressed…and what kind of treatment is going on?” He thought, “Let us see.” He did not wait for three minutes, he immediately closed his eyes, and when the hypnotist took his hand, he dropped it. He knew all the tricks…an old man, he has seen everything in the world!

The hypnotist said, “He is completely at ease and asleep. Now I will give him the suggestion that he is perfectly alright, he doesn’t have any disease and he will not harass his children with diseases that don’t exist!” And the old man remained silent.

His sons were very happy: “Why have we never thought of the hypnotist? We have been wasting so much money paying the doctors, and all that they say is, ‘You harass us. Although you give us money, it is sheer harassment. The man is not sick at all.’ This man is the right man!”

The old man was lying completely still. All suggestions over, the hypnotist collected his fee. One of the sons went out the door to see him off to his car, but even before he returned, the old man opened one eye and asked, “Has that crackpot gone or not?”

If you immediately close your eyes, nothing will happen because you will remain conscious. Whatever the hypnotist is saying, he will look like a crank: What nonsense is he talking? “Your eyes are becoming heavy” — they will not become heavy. “You are falling deep in a sleep” — you are not falling, you are perfectly alert. And he is cheating; he is saying that you don’t have any diseases!